jiyuunatori's Blog

9/5/10

So last night, my family did in fact take me out to that little sushi place that i like. And i invited a friend along so i was amazingly happy and Operation Cheer Up as i have just dubbed it was a total success. But i don't think i'll ever eat so much seafood before going to bed ever again. I had the wierdest dream in a long time.

Sadly i don't remember it in great detail. But i remember at the end i was talking to my mum about how i had apparently come back from a "meeting with my authors' circle" - which i dont even have. But i do remember i had 3 books in my bag (i think they were proof copies cos the one i pulled out didnt have a cover.) and i said one of them was called "Blue Moon".

That little reference of mine has been annoying me for a while today.

7/5/10

Today technically marked the beginning of my exams - my French spoken was at 12:30 and OH MY GOD i have never been so scared of something in my life. Though bravo me, for not showing it outwardly.

I officially do not handle stress well and i'm quite sure i made loads of grammar errors. *sigh* i need a good grade in this. At least a B or my favourite uni will reject me and i will cry for a week. No joke.

On the other hand - all over. All done now until...some time in June. June 16th i think is my next exam. yay, she says with heavy sarcasm. And also, now that that's over with, i have some time to occupy myself with other languages XP

I'm such a nerd sometimes.

1/4/10

Day Two:

Well after drinking a whole litre bottle of chocolate milk i bundled myself onto the coach and we left for our second day of WW1 battlefields. We saw a church the catacombs of which Hitler had been billeted in when he was a soldier, and the chapel where the statue of the Madonna nearly fell and had to be secured by the British. There was a story that when the statue fell the war would be over. Germans later caused it to fall, the year was 1918. Coincidence?

We drove through Messine, up the Messine ridge, (twice i think) and then to another cemetery. This one didn't sit well with me because there were a lot of gravestones that were joined together. And those graves are those where more than one body were discovered but couldn't be separated and so were buried in one grave. I don't like that for some reason. We then went to an exclusively German cemetery which, so we're told, Hitler himself visited during the German occupation of France and Belgium in WW2. I never thought graveyards could be different for different cultures - but oh yes! You can tell a German grave from a french or English one because it had a flat top rather than a slightly curved one. And sometimes they don't even have gravestones. They had small stone plaques about 12 inches square with names on. Most had between 3 and 6 names on them. Some as many as 20. I wasn't too keen on that either. Our guide explained it quite aptly i think - "The English remember, the Germans mourn". Very sombre place it was.

We spent most of the day in the coach because after visiting Lochnagar crater the weather turned on us quite viciously. Lochnagar is near to the Somme (but don't trust my geography skills) and is a huge hole in the ground from when the British set off a mine. The bang was heard in Dublin and the shockwave was so strong that it killed German soldiers in their trenches where they sat. The thing is at least 100ft deep and about 150 wide. So huge, it's almost scary. But i didn't get a good look and i wasn't quick enough to run around the crater before the rain (or hail rather) came down - and when i say came down, it was like standing under a waterfall. I may never complain about English weather again.

When the rain finally stopped, and after a small group went out into a cemetery in the downpour to find a guy's relative, we went to a museum where there are more trenches - not preserved in their original condition but where the dug out sections are still there and you can walk in them. I didn't stay too long because i felt a bit faint but i made sure to walk along what had been the British line and was rather relieved to see that i didn't have to crouch down so much in those - my 6'2'' friend wasn't so lucky and looked a tiny bit put out when i pointed that out.

I had really looked forward to going to the Somme battlefield simply to see what the resting place of so many dead men looked like. I'm ashamed to say i can't remember it very clearly, but i remember looking up at a display in the museum that owned it and looking at all the little photos of the men they knew had died there but had never been found. Most of them were in their 20s or 30s but so many of them were my age or younger and that wasn't nice to see. Again i didn't stay long because my friend hadn't banked on it being as cold as it was and she got really bad chilblains so i went back to the coach with her (goddamn me and my waning crush for her >///<). The part of the Somme i do remember was actually at a different location but it was a long underground tunnel that had lots of mannequins set up to demonstrate various scenes you'd see in the trenches like the medic, the machine gun post and so on. Practically everyone who walked past the one with the gas masks mentioned Doctor Who, even my friend/ex-crush who i never expected to watch that but i expect she just loves to watch me squirm uncomfortably. They had display cases with all kinds of things they'd found like spades and bullet-riddled tins of food, shoes and even rifles - some of which were shredded or rotting, some of which were unmarked, but it was upon seeing those things that i felt the need to turn to my friend and say "i've just realised that these men were actually people", as weird as that might sound to say. But learning the places and the numbers of casualties is totally different to standing in the graveyards or seeing the things pulled out of the earth. It wasn't a bad feeling but i did sort of feel responsible in a way, or maybe it was just humility, hard to tell.

We went to the Tiepval memorial after that to lay a commemorative plaque on behalf of the college. That thing is huge - i'd guess almost twice as big as the Menin gate! There are so many names it is untrue! Sadly we couldn't stay long because it rained on us yet again and this time even harder. Our final historical stop was Delville Wood cemetery where i put a little cross down on the grave of someone my mum wanted me to find. We then had to endure a long ride to Calais with only one stop for a loo break and stocking up on lunch and sweets. I got a bit cranky when i was hovering waiting for my friend to chose a sandwich and some girls dragged me away to read the options on a drinks vendor for them 'cause i was one of about 3 (not including a single adult with us) that spoke any french. And to be honest i was cranky because i was tired but also because (and this is a personal grievance) the girl wanted me to point out "hot chocolate" - chocolate in french is "chocolat", and there were only 3 drinks that weren't listed under 'coffee' so i was a bit annoyed with her, but that's just me.

I didn't like taking the Eurotunnel back into England - passport control was tighter going in than coming out, but it was ok so long as we didn't get the french police on our case (as i told my friends - you don't want that). I messed about a bit with my friends 'cause we were tired and bored and my ex-crush gave us (me particularly) "the look". But on the train we were all sort of nodding off at random intervals and i was complaining because my ears wouldn't pop and the pressure kept building in my head. Plus when you have a friend who keep reaching over and tickling you, you get a bit annoyed. I annoyed my friend next to me by singing "its a long way to Tipperary" over and over intermittently for about 2 hours. I think she was glad to get off the bus.

All in all, it was a really humbling experience that really put into perspective how many men died on both sides (because as the victors we don't always mention that the German losses exceeded our during and after the battle of the Somme). Although i will never go with kids form the year below me again, and this all does seem to push me closer to the stance of a pacifist because as much as i respect the men who died and who believed they were serving their country, when you consider the scale of it and the fact that a mile of muddy, shelled land was all they achieved in some locations (though i know some militarily minded people will shoot that claim down in flames) i do have to wonder whether so much war is really justifiable.

But oh well, i have Belgian chocolate to help me think it over, and i still say it counts as one of my five a day!

1/4/10

So I got back in one piece. Still tired as hell, but oh well what can you do. If there's anyone here who has ever thought of visiting Belgium/WW1 battle sites, or who studies history and has ever thought about it - i recommend you go.

Day One:

We arrived in France with no problems and drove up from Calais to the Belgian border. You'll have to forgive me for not remembering the names of all the sites we went to. We went to one that was absolutely huge, (i think it was the second one we went to see), with a wall that went around the back and half of the sides in a semi-circle and all the names of the missing from that site had been carved in. Ok, you might think, so what. Each name was carved about..an inch high, on a wall 20ft high or more and so long that you could have parked three, maybe even four coaches along its length. The number of graves was quite impressive, i couldn't begin to estimate how many 'cause the cemetery went down quite a way. It also had a visitors' centre where they had a constant roll-call of the men who were buried in the cemetery - i tell you there is nothing creepier than when a name is read out and followed by the phrase "age unknown". I almost couldn't believe how boys were so eager to go off and fight that they felt the need to lie about their name and age - but then i have the gift of hindsight.

We also went to a place where some trenches had been preserved. I'm sure people have heard stories of Passchendale (also called the Third battle of Ypres) where men drowned in mud that came up to their waists. Well it wasn't quite that bad but believe me, one false step and you could very easily get injured or killed just by the mud or rain. And i'm sure we weren't actually meant to walk on the corrugated iron that covered some parts of the trenches (interestingly you can always tell a British trench or bunker by the use of corrugated iron - you learn something new everyday). Anyway, i decided i'd like to go into one of the underground trenches, which you could see 3ft into before the darkness became total. Neither of my friends with me wanted to, so i grabbed a first year student who had a light on his phone and off we went. Well, you can't conceive the level of darkness - I ended up clutching his coat just so that i wouldn't be left alone or get lost even though the tunnel was never intersected by another. While the light on his phone was only small it didn't even reach the walls, so we couldn't see a thing. I had one hand on the concrete wall which meant i scraped the pads of my fingers pretty badly when he started jogging (why? not sure). I was never so glad to see sunlight as when i got out of there. All you could hear was the splash of your own boots in the ankle-deep water and god-knows-what. I can't imagine willingly going down there but if i had shells whizzing overhead then i might think differently.

Anyway, i also went tramping through the overground trenches, again, all on my lonesome. Now those have ducking boards (or railway sleepers) in the bottom for you to walk on. Despite the construction guidelines they're not really wide enough for two men to walk along. Plus when i was smart enough to step off the aforementioned board, i lost my foot up to the ankle in muddy water - poking a stick into it told me it was nearly enough to come up to my knees which was just lovely. The upside was that it was mostly mud so apart from one little sheltered part that swallowed my foot the minute i stepped off the board, i wasn't in any real danger of sinking. That changed when i went down the other half (these were long things) because after about 3 turns (trenches are zigzagged rather than straight after all) the boards disappeared, and it wasn't mud that was left. It was water. Deep brown filthy water. And guess who was stupid enough to wade through it? *points at self* like a 5 year old in the rain. And my teacher has a photo to prove it.

After all that and unpacking our junk at our B&B we went to the Menin gate which incidentally was only a couple of minutes walk away from where we were staying. Thankfully i didn't cry at the Last Post but it was really quite an emotional thing and you do suddenly get this real sense of history. And yes, the Menin gate has men's names all over it. Again, an inch tall for each name, and over thirty feet and that's just the arch we stood in! I'd like to think everyone felt that but alas there's always one group that don't and my friend got really annoyed because this group of young girls at the front on the other side were chatting through the whole thing. Oh well.

The next part was my favourite, as shallow as it makes me sound. Our guide had convinced a chocolate shop nearby to stay open that night just for us. So we all piled in there and practically threw our money at them. Lovely little shop, though that did mean i had a stomach ache in bed that night (in the hour i was listening to the people on the floor above making a tonne of noise ><). You can imagine what a charming and sweet person i was the next morning.

28/3/10

i really don't get Daylight Savings Time. It takes away an hour of sleep which i kinda really need.

I'm still really tired but i've made an effort to pack for my trip to Belgium on Tuesday. I'm gonna cry at the Last Post ceremony, i just know it.

But oh well. I'll buy chocolate after that XD

I'm rather bored now though, cos i'm waiting for the washing machine to finish so i can get my combats out. I mean, i am gonna be tramping around in mud and stuff. But i'm so bored i'm watching Tim Minchin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSfSV5BSZ2g <- probably the funniest thing i've heard all week. I love the joke about Jan Moir. and just trying to say Penta-Poofta-Piano-Posse is hours of amusement.

I think i've laughed so hard i've given myself hiccoughs. anyway, should go cos dinner's almost ready and then i have to get back to packing.

12/3/10

It's been a long week.

Not really a good week either. Haven't been blogging much lately for several reasons. 1) i actually own a diary now and i'm writing in that instead, just a bit more intimate and stuff, it's nice. 2) i've just been far too tired. I don't seem to be getting a break from college work and it seems to be getting more and more boring. 3) I don't think anyone especially cares, but it'd be nice if they did XD.

So i've been on iron tablets for the past month, they finally ran out last week. Sadly, they're not making me any more lively, any more alert. Big sigh. And now, the gloom is setting in. I have my french speaking exam in May and i'm so not prepared. Lot of pressure cos i'm not likely to meet the standard i need to reach to get into my uni of choice. Frankly, if i don't get in, i'll cry. But i simply don't have the time to pick up the slack from earlier. the exams aren't going to go well.

The one time i don't want my mum on my back. That doesn't help either.

Still, tomorrow will be nice. Going to see Alice in Wonderland, gonna buy sweets, and then gonna go to a party. I think i need that.

 30/12/09

So busy xmas. Wii fit thinks it can trim my waistline. Somehow, i doubt it, but oh well i shall try~ getting pretty good at Step Plus now.

Yesterday was one of the best days of my life. Apart from the rain - i don't like being rained on. Went to see Avatar in 3D. And it was the good 3D - not the one with the red and blue glasses, but the proper kind where things actually fly out of the screen. And the film iteslf was fantastic! Absolutely amazing, i swear. The CGI is beautiful, you really see the amount of work that went into it. I highly recommend it. Though the falling in love part was very cliche, you can see that coming right from the off, but apart from that its a good story.

Of course, now i've left all my homework to the last minute. I now have 3 days to do 12 hours of french homework and i really can't be asked. *sigh* it's so monotonous. Anyway, i need sleep cos tomorrow i have a whole load of other things to do. yay procrastination.